BREAKING: Johnny Discovers Santa Claus Isn’t Real and That His Parents Have Been Jerking Him Around the Entire Time

ORLANDO, FL – After Johnny, 8, poked his head under the Christmas tree to investigate some of the gifts his parents finished wrapping, he noticed something odd: Why was there already a gift that said ‘LOVE, SANTA’ under the tree when it’s not even close to Christmas?

“I mean, we’ve still got 21 days. It makes no sense,” Johnny said.

After further investigation, he noticed the handwriting on his present looked all too familiar.

“I ran to the kitchen and found my mother’s grocery list. I compared the two and the results were uncanny,” Johnny explained, to the police. “The least she could’ve done was written in cursive.”

Poor Johnny couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that the Santas he’s seen in department stores were just sad old men. He was so distraught that he threw out his gift — even if it was the Nintendo Switch Bundle he’d been whining about for practically the entire year.

“I don’t know how I’ll be able to celebrate Christmas knowing I’ve been lied to my whole life,” Johnny thought.

His parents have yet to comment on the situation.

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